Seems like every time I post something on social media. Someone (sometimes it’s a spam bot) goes out of their way to tell me how they can help me.  Need graphic design? They insist they can do it. Want a beta reader? I’m your person. Editing? No problem. There are people out there that apparently are so talented that they can do it all. Only, they can’t. Supposedly, they are just humble writers like me. The difference is, according to them, I just need the help of their team.

    Now, I don’t believe everything that someone tells me. I’m not that gullible. But I do play along. I’m kind, and I’m not one to rock boats, so I talk to them as though they are who they say. But it isn’t long before they are pitching their team to me as if their life depended on it. (I do not believe any real author would be that insistent.)

    It doesn’t matter how often I tell them that I cannot afford their team. This part is true. I am, after all, poorer than a church mouse. That doesn’t faze them. No, they are going to fight for their right to be my team. (I guess they expect that I am growing a money tree in my backyard?!) If they only knew that I had nine or ten other teams on standby, all vying for the same spot. 

    Sometimes I am preemptive and talk about how much I hate it when authors push their teams on me.  This always throws them for a loop. Sometimes, I look up who they are claiming to be and ask them innocuous questions about their lives in hopes of catching them in the scam. So far, that one hasn’t worked. One time, when asked about how my book was selling, I insisted that the answer was personal, and I didn’t answer those types of questions. Anything I can think of to get people from trying to sell me on their team. 

    Do I need a team? Probably. Am I going to go with a team that is fighting so hard for my business? No. (And I’m certainly not going to ask for editing skills from people who have a poor grasp on the English language.) Am I tired of telling them no? You betcha. One went so far as to design me a book trailer without my permission and asked me to pay for it. In other words, the entire thing is getting out of hand. In better words, I wish that I had a team to handle the onslaught of “authors” in my inbox.